I’ve always found that music changes me. If I’m in a bit of a funk I’ll listen to something upbeat and it will immediately change my mood. If I’m feeling sad and need to just sit with that, I’ll listen to something that matches my feelings and that helps me too. Not by cheering me up, but by allowing me to feel what I’m feeling.
I often have mood swings. I can be a very excitable personality and there have to be downs as well as ups. I have learned over time that the moods are cyclical and that helps as I remind myself that difficult days also pass.
This might sound a bit daft but when you see me check out my fingers and toes. 90% of the time you’ll find them painted, usually something bright, reds and pinks are my faves. But when I’m feeling flat, not feeling good about myself or just bleugh, I don’t want to be bothered to make the effort so they’ll be bare.
In the blink of an eye, I went from being a social butterfly and extrovert, with an exciting career change from teaching to 'who knew what', to a introvert, and traumatised young widow. All on one ordinary morning last March, when my parter Craig left for work and never came back.